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You can tell a-bout the weath-er, if it's going to rain or shine!
You can fi-gure on the mar-ket and you're apt to get a line!
You may hand-i-cap the hors-es and per-haps you'll "dope 'em out."
But to fig-ure on a wom-an is to al-ways be in doubt!
The trou-ble is you can't tell what they want from what they say,
And what they want to-mor-row is-n't what they want to-day.
If you do what they tell you, why you on-ly make them mad,
And if you do the op-po-site, you're sure to get in bad.
For you ne-ver can tell a-bout a wom-an,
Per-haps that's why we think them all so nice,
You ne-ver find two a-like a-ny one time and you ne-ver find one a-like twice.
You're ne-ver ver-y cer-tain that they love you,
You're of-ten ver-y cer-tain that they don't.
The men may fan-cy still, that they have the strong-est will,
But the wo-men have the strong-est won't!
I re-mem-ber on our hon-ey-moon my dar-ling lit-tle wife, Said "dear-est, if
I died would you stay sin-gle all your life?"
And when I an-swered "No, I think that I a-gain should wed," She cried and cried
and sob-bed and sighed un-til her nose was red!
I had the same ex-per-i-ence, but just the oth-er way, My wife and I had had an
aw-ful fuss that ve-ry day. She said "If I should die would you sel-ect an-oth-er
bride?" And when I said "You bet your life I would-n't," how she cried!
For you ne-ver can tell a-bout a wom-an,
Per-haps that's why we think them all so nice,
You ne-ver find two a-like a-ny one time and you ne-ver find one a-like twice.
You're ne-ver ver-y cer-tain that they love you,
You're of-ten ver-y cer-tain that they don't.
The men may fan-cy still, that they have the strong-est will,
But the wo-men have the strong-est won't!